The Perfect Letter
by Dawnie'B
Summary: Natsu aimed to write a letter Lucy would be proud of: Penmanship, Mechanics, and content wise.


Disclaimer: Thanks Drew for giving me advice on perspectives

Summary: Natsu aimed to write a letter Lucy would be proud of.

Natsu swiped a strand of hair over his ear. His bangs had become a hindrance given their length. Over the years he gradually began to slack increasingly more when it came to his appearance. Though Lucy insisted on having Cancer fix his "mane," he refused. He initially claimed his hair was fine despite the longer length. However, as strands of coral hair lashed onto various parts of his face—perhaps, perhaps Lucy had a point regarding the hair cut. As another strand fell over his eyes, he realized it wasn't much longer than when she initially asked. He blew the strand with frustration before running his fingers through his bangs and flicking them all back.

There were differences from his year long, solidary journey and now. He felt even stronger after being reunited with his friends, more specifically his team. He also realized, as the sunlight shined upon his old, papyrus paper—he never fell into such deep contemplation. He had his ideas when memories of the past striked him. More specifically Igneel and the task he was enlisted with. However, actually concentrating on a task had a different feeling. The smallest of actions served as a distraction. A sigh escaped from his throat as he realized at the rate he was going, finishing the letter by sundown would be impossible.

In contrast to Lucy, who naturally had a way with words, he found it difficult to convey what he felt. The words never seemed to be at ease with what he aimed to communicate. At that moment he also began to envy Levy, whose magic had word mechanics at its core. Natsu dipped his pen in the ink bottle, only to realize splatters scattered across the paper as when he shifted his hand to write. In frustration, he crumpled the draft and tossed it into his overflowing trash can. Circular crumples fell from the container another failed copy joined the rest.

Aside from his issue on finding the correct words, his handwriting was decent at best. He wanted to impress Lucy with nicer penmanship, though admitting; he scarcely practiced. Anything he wrote was done quickly in the same handwriting that delivered the last letter he had to make.

He pressed his palms against his face, groaning as both his hair and patience were falling over. Eyeing the door, Natsu wondered if perhaps Lucy had any tips. However, he wanted to surprise her. She knew him well enough to suspect when he was up to something. There was always Levy, though she wasn't close by and he had no means of contacting her.

"Dear Lucy," he narrated aloud, carefully tracing the words onto the paper. He raised an eyebrow, lifting the paper to his eyes as he examined the handwriting. Natsu supposed it looked decent, nothing as fancy as Lucy or Levy's, but fairly decent.

The initial two words were the easiest; it was what followed that would prove to be a challenge. Writing at a slower peace would be time consuming, though it did produce the neatest handwriting. The way the letters curved, for him at least, seemed fairly elegant. Though for him, almost everyone else's handwriting seemed fairly nice in comparison to his usual penmanship.

The urge to open the door and sneakily wove his "struggle" into a conversation with Lucy came across his mind once again. He glanced upon the nearly empty piece of papyrus paper; his intuition was telling him this copy would be the final one. He didn't want to risk messing up what he believed to be draft thirteen.

A thought occurred to him while tapping the feather of his pen in impatience: He couldn't ask Lucy, but perhaps she could still assist him.

If she wasn't on missions, she was most likely writing in her journal. She aimed to be an author one day, which as she claimed, "required a lot of practice to perfect the craft".

A grin plastered his face as he recalled a conversation they shared in the past.

* * *

"How do you keep writing?" Natsu asked as he lazily lounged across her sofa while eating.

Lucy was sitting on her desk, her journal open and her pen in hand. She moved her chair back, spinning to face him. "What do you mean?"

"There aren't many ways to say things, right? How do you keep finding new ways to explain something? How do you figure out what to say?" Natsu asked as he adjusted his position so he was sitting up-right.

"You mean…do I get writers block?" Lucy asked, twirling her pen in her hand.

Natsu nodded. "Yeah, that thing."

Lucy giggled. "It's not always easy. I do get stuck on how to say certain things. The events in my life are always unique, but when it comes to how to say what I have in my head, it can be challenging. I guess I just think about it more and let my heart speak."

"Let your heart speak?" he asked, tilting his head to the side in curiosity.

Lucy nodded as she reached to grab her journal. "Sometimes I'm thinking too hard on how to phrase something. Sometimes I need to relax and let the words flow naturally. It may not be grammatically correct at times, but that's something I can fix when I have the basis implemented."

"Can I see?" Natsu asked eagerly as he stood up.

"See what?"

"What you're working on now," Natsu answered.

Lucy's eyes widened as she impulsively shook her head. "Ah—no—I mean, not yet! The phrasing was bad and I still need to repair it! It's not my best at all and it needs a lot of adjustments."

"That won't be hard though, right?" Natsu asked in a softer tone.

Lucy shrugged in response.

"Even if it isn't the best way to say things, it came from your heart, right?" Natsu asked.

Lucy's expression softened as she nodded in affirmation. "You're right, it did."

* * *

Lucy's advice was to let it let it come from the heart. Then again, she also cared a lot about phrasing and if the writing was eloquent enough or not. But even so, as long as she had the basis, the rest would fall into place, as she claimed.

He didn't think he was thinking too hard on how, in fact, Natsu assumed he wasn't thinking as much as he needed to. However, Lucy made a point back then.

He stretched his arms as he took a deeper breath in an attempt to calm himself and allow his "heart to speak" as Lucy claimed.

Natsu lifted the pen from the bottle of ink and began tracing the words. The first sentence came at ease and without looking back for too long, he continued the next. Delicately and with much caution, he was finally writing the letter as his heart took control of the pen.

* * *

She swirled his scarf across her neck, her fingers tracing the fabric as tears fell, only to be caught by his scarf.

The guild simultaneously agreed she should keep it in his memory. She felt close to him, but she knew it was only a feeling—he was gone, he was never coming back. She hugged the scarf tighter, her eyelids dropping as the feeling of emptiness became fog. A fog that emptied her soul and left her feeling hollow.

Falling to her knees, she grasped the scarf as she tried to convince herself that it was a mere dream—no, a nightmare. He was alive, he was preparing to burst into her room and disrupt her sleep. He wasn't gone; the warm embrace that gave her comfort was still in existence. His body, warm and loving, was not reduced to ashes.

The worst was perhaps that she never had a chance to say goodbye. She had no way to tell him just how much he meant to her. She planned to once the mess cleared up; she believed whole-heartedly that he would make it at the end.

She was wrong. She was mistaken. She should have taken the chance to tell him that her feelings transcended comradery or even love.

The sunlight filled his entire house. People were warm, dressed in mostly shorts and sleeveless shirts while eating ice cream. Yet, even with the weather, despite the fact his scarf shielded her entire body—she felt cold. A chill was constantly rushing up her spine, a chill that would take a while to melt.

Standing up, she wiped her eyes with her fingers as she began to wander. Memories darted into her mind the more she walked and the longer she stayed. She imagined that after Zeref was defeated, the atmosphere would be different. Warmer, joyful—the complete opposite of the feeling she held at that moment. Any positive adjective described her fantasy, an imagination that merely remained a thought.

A post-it note was taped onto his desk. Hovering closer, she picked it off and read what it contained:

"July 1. Gift in drawer," Lucy read. She lifted an eyebrow as she angled towards his nightstand beside his bed. Her birthday was July 1st, she had no doubt the gift involved her. Lucy clutched her fist tighter as her lips trembled. He was gone…yet once again, he left something for her.

Shaking, she reluctantly walked towards the drawer. Her hand clasped the handle, stroking it as she contemplated on what to do next. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes once more and quickly pulled the drawer open.

Her eyes slowly fell open as the contents of drawer was unveiled. There was nothing except an ordinary, white envelope with "For Lucy" written in nice penmanship on the front. Her hand dropped into the drawer, her fingers grabbing the letter and slowly hauling it to the outside.

"To Lucy," Lucy murmured. She slid a finger into the letter's folds and neatly opened it. Taking a deep breath, she pressed her pointer finger and thumb on both sides of the papyrus paper. With much caution, she slid it out and into the grasps of her hand. The paper was neatly folded into three sections. On the inside, however, she was clueless as to what it held.

She opened the folds as her eyes immediately became mesmerized with the first two words and whatever else his final letter contained.

_Dear Lucy,_

_Happy Birthday! I practiced really hard on making this look nice. I hope my handwriting is as elegant as yours. Maybe not, but it's better than it was a year and a half ago, right? I know I wasn't there on your birthday last year. I'm sorry. I thought of you, though. I hope you had fun then. Speaking of, I know I left really suddenly. I'm sorry again. I missed you a lot too but I was really happy to see you were okay. I know it hurt for me to leave and the guild to disband. Going on the journey was something I needed to do on my own. I didn't want to burden anyone. But I would be lying if I told you I didn't think about what it would be like if you at least came along. Sometimes I regretted it, but I knew you were going to be okay. _

_And you were, but it would hurt anyone for a friend to leave like that. I really did want you to know at least, I didn't want you to worry about me. My sentence structure here probably isn't good like yours. But this is coming from my heart. And even if it's not the best, at least my handwriting is neater? But like you said, coming from the heart is the most important thing. Anyways, Lucy, I didn't celebrate your last birthday with you. But for this one day we'll definitely all be together! By then I would have kicked Zeref's ass and everyone will be happy. And I promise, we'll celebrate every birthday after that together too. _

_Other than Happy, you are my best friend. I don't know what would have happened to me if we never met that one day. I can't imagine the guild without you or what I would have been doing if we never met. There are a lot of things we went through. And this isn't the end. Zeref's just one problem and once we kick his ass we'll have others and with our team, we'll get through all with no problem. Lucy, there are many other things I want to tell you. But I don't think a letter is the best way to say them. I want it to come from my heart like this letter is. So I'll tell you them on your birthday, right after, just the two of us. _

_I've lost Igneel. But I have Fairy Tail, and of course, you. I wish Igneel was able to really meet Happy, you and others. He really would have liked you, but he's with me and I'm sure he already does. I still can't believe they were all inside us all this time. Wow. I don't think I express how important you are to me as much as I should. (I had no idea how to say that, but in a book it phrased it like that.) But you really do, and I want to say more but I'll have to wait for your birthday so I can say it in person. I just hope we can continue going on more adventures together as a team. You're my best friend, Luce. I don't know what I can do without you and the others. I know we'll always be a team, no matter what happens. And I'm also really excited to read your book whenever you publish it. You're a great writer. A lot better than me. And I know you fixed all the grammar stuff so your heart's messages sound even better._

_P.S. You were right about needing a haircut_

_From,_

_Natsu._

A sad smile appeared on Lucy's face as teardrops rained onto the ground. Some hitting the paper and slightly smearing some words. She picked up the envelope and suddenly felt something else beneath the paper. Reaching in, she pulled out a necklace of the Fairy Tail symbol

With the letter and necklace carefully within her grasps, she walked to his desk. It was surprisingly neat with a notebook placed in the middle. She opened it, tears falling as she saw the contents of the pages.

He was trying to plan the speech with a brief outline, though he never quite finished planning. Yet, with every variation she read, what he wanted to say resonated with her. She twirled the necklace with her fingers only to realize the back contained some inscriptions:

To Lucy

Love, Natsu.

She clasped it onto her neck, caressing the guild mark as she fondly held his last letter. The handwriting wasn't quite as neat as it could've been. The sentence structure needed a lot of work—yet those factors did not matter to her. His words reached her, and suddenly the chill disappeared from her spine. The sun shone onto her body as she ceased trembling. He was gone, they had no other missions together—she will never see him again and he will never tell her what he wanted to communicate to her in person. In return, she was unable to tell him she felt the same. They had no other memories that can be created—yet upon reading the letter, she felt warm.

"Natsu…thank you," Lucy repeated out loud amidst tears. He wanted her to go on, to create the adventures, to finish the novel—and she will, for the both of them. Her lips curved into a sad, smile as she fell onto her knees once more, hugging the letter to her chest.

"Thank you," she murmured again in a shaky voice amidst tears. "T-Thank you," she cried out.


End file.
